Sexy is as sexy does...

First things first, I have put on weight (and it's not this blog... ba-dum-cha!).  Not since BSB 2010 started but since Sexy 08 ended.  It is devastating and my own stupid fault (go team).  I gave up the ghost (?) and just kind of flailed around so much (especially Oct-Dec 09) and ate whatever I wanted and never worked out and wham  (like the 80's pop band) before I knew it some of my pants no longer fit.  (Pants on the Ground, Pants on the Ground- well maybe not the ground so much as not around my waist where they belong).  So today I am feeling like a stupid, fat baby (stupid babies need the most love- anyone know that reference?).  Yay, goodtimes (I see you trying to leave Sexy... Get yer ass back over here)

So REALITY CHECK time for me.  Baby steps are fine (especially since I feel like one these days).  Baby steps worked last time very well.  I am even baby stepping already (and baby dancing).  What I have to tell myself is, ok you fucked up lady friend... You swore you wouldn't let this happen and yet, here we are.  So... now what?  What do you plan on doing to rectify (tee hee!) the situation?  Self-loathing and a hate club come to mind and then are both quickly eradicated by my Awesome (SUPER AWESOME).  I just need to focus.  Not ignore my fat ass mind you, let it be a motivator rather than a destroyer of my Sexy Mission.

This week is my first REAL week back into the mix.  I am eating much better and working out regularly.  It has been hard like eggs, but it has also been a relief to some degree.  I don't have to beat myself up if I'm doing what I need to be doing and that makes me feel better about myself~ (I totes kick my own ass all the time, mentally and physically!) about my Sexy ~ about all of the stuff I haven't been feeling so great about- Pride might be a deadly sin (2010 is the year of LUST people but pride can tag along!) but it's something I need to give myself right now.  A jolt of "Look at you! Great Job!  A+!" can do wonders. 

The message is this- sometimes you are a disappointment.  (So sweet) And sometimes you need a swift kick in the ass moment to say "Um, way to drop the Sexy ball leader person!"  And sometimes you need your "skinnier" jeans to not fit at all to remind you that you enjoyed it ONLY when your pants were TOO BIG for you, not too small.  I'm doing this for me, for my huge ass, and for all of you.  Admitting that I failed, will continue to fail, and won't always be as Awesome is kind of part of the journey here (way to conjugate FAIL).  I wanted ya'll to know, I am a WIP (work in progress) as much as anyone else and right now I gotta work my ass into some smaller jeans.  What are you going to own up to and conquer?  (maybe the small town lying to the north?)  In any case, you better work... cause I totally am and I don't like to work alone.